I can say with authority that I do not have the flu, swine flu, HamAIDS, Hamthrax, or Hammonia in any way, shape or form. So, cheers to that.

I can’t even tell you what I do have, except to say that it feels like I have a dust bunny in my throat at approximately clavicle level that won’t move at all when I cough.

Right now, I took oscillococcinum as a preventative (again, I know I don’t have the flu), and drinking a lot of water (any water for me is a 100% increase than what I usually drink – pass the Diet Coke, please), and my three-cigarettes-a-day is now whittled down to nothing.

I don’t feel any better or worse than yesterday, so I think that’s an okay sign.

The thing that makes me nuts, though, is that I finally feel the drive to take care of my body when it is broken. Obviously the smoking is not helping, and I make excuses about my hydration with the Diet Coke as a substitute for water. But I just feel gross right now, and I want to feel better. More importantly, I want to feel better all the time, not just when I get over not feeling well.

I’m at the point where I’m really just tired of smoking. It’s more of a pain in the ass than not, so I’m really working on being done. Not eating like a little kid and having healthy and balanced meals is even a fun challenge: I like to cook, I like to be organized, I like to plan meals, no sweat. I can stick with that.

It’s the working out that’s going to suck. It hurts a lot for me to work out – and not even in that “ooh! Feel the burn!” kind of hurt. As in, “I am laid out on my back for two days after 30 minutes on the elliptical” hurt because of persistent hip and knee problems. I would like working out if I weren’t so terrified of being crippled for days afterword.

The best part? Presentation tonight – I think I’m going to lose my voice midway through. Charades, anyone?

During both courses of my Accutane treatments, they crossed through the harsh Cleveland winters.  The main focus and drive of getting through Accutane is: how do I keep my hair/skin from being so damn dry?

My first round with Accutane, I had to spend a lot of time and money trying to figure out which products were going to provide the moisture I desperately needed. It would have been great to have information collected here; and I’ve checked the stats on my blog, and have seen that I’ve been getting a lot of traffic from people who have been looking for information about Accutane.

In this entry, I’ll cover the products that I’ve used that I think have helped me greatly.

1. Basic Skin Cleansing and Moisturizing

During my first round of treatment, I was using Clinique’s Comforting Cream Cleanser, but it’s a little pricey and doesn’t last terribly long ($18.50/5oz). This time around, I am using Cetaphil’s Gentle Cleanser ($11.49/16oz), which I think works great: it breaks up my makeup, cleans without stripping, and a single bottle will last you through a standard six-month treatment (really! I am the queen of using way too much product).

I used to moisturize with Clinique’s Moisture Surge, but again, it’s pricey ($46.50/2.5oz) and I was re-applying a lot. On the upside, Moisture Surge can be applied over makeup without having to worry about it smudging.

This course of treatment, I switched over to Cetaphil’s DailyAdvance Ultra Hydrating Lotion For Dry, Sensitive Skin ($10.79/8oz), which I think is actually body lotion, but all of Cetaphil’s products are non-comedogenic, so there is are no worries that this ultra-moisturizing cream will cause any pore-blockage. Using the moisturizer means that I only have to moisturize once a day, instead of re-applying several times a day to cover flakes of dry skin. No tightness, no flakes. It gets an A in my book.

The only awkward side effect? My nose sweats. Just my nose. I don’t know if this is standard for this moisturizer, or just me. It’s not uncontrollable, but I do have to wipe my nose before meetings.

2. Body Wash

Very simply, I use Classic Ivory soap. It’s inexpensive ($1.99/3 bars) and there are no detergents or fragrances in it. The only other thing that I would steer people towards is maybe vegetable glycerin soap, which also has no fragrance or detergents.

3. Shampoo/Conditioner

I’m fairly lucky because I have a water softener, so that really helps to keep my hair from getting fried. But, in my first course, I used Aveda’s hair products. I still recommend Aveda’s Dry Remedy Moisturizing line. They aren’t inexpensive, but I honestly believe that when your hair is falling out because of the Accutane treatment, you need products that are as natural as you can possibly get. Aveda does that.

The Ritual Kit has the shampoo, the conditioner, and the moisture mask all-included for $74.00, which is $10 off what it would cost to buy each of the products separately. Of course, though, you can buy them separately and not even get the hair mask and be just as well off.

And, as is true for all of Aveda’s products, a little goes a long way.

4. Body Lotion

I only really need lotion when I shave my legs, but my go-to product that delivers a lot of moisture and soaks in really well is Vaseline Intensive Care Total Moisture, Dry Skin Lotion. It’s very good for hands, too, and a huge bottle is relatively inexpensive ($7.00/24,5oz). I have a feeling that you’ll carry this from your Accutane treatment through to all of your body/hand moisturizing needs through the year.

5. Lip Treatment

If any of you are having the same experience that I’ve had, the first thing that dries out and the last thing to get moisture back is your lips. I would honestly say that I would take all of the other symptoms twofold if only I could have the lip dryness not happen.

During my first treatment, I used Carmex for chapped lips ($2.49/.5 oz,) but I know that it’s cheaper at Wal-Mart, Drug Mart and CVS). I really liked it’s staying power.

This time around, I’m using Blistex Lip Medex ($2.19/.38 oz). I think it has the same softening, moisturizing, and staying power, but I feel like it warms up better with your body heat and doesn’t feel quite as thick and sticky.

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You’ll notice that I took a lot of time to find products that you can get in your local drugstore. And I think even in some cases, you can use HSA dollars to pay for these items.  I’m pretty lucky in that my prescription coverage is very extensive and my prescription for the generic brand is only $10. However, my first course of treatment cost $100 month, and that didn’t count the co-pays or the blood tests. The point is that you don’t need really, really expensive products to provide the moisture you need to have a comfortable experience while on Accutane.

I really hope that this helps: please feel free to leave a comment letting me know how these recommendations worked for you.

I’ve only been in tears in pain twice.  The first time was when the local anesthetic was wearing off of my foot after my surgery.  That time, I was bent over the ottoman, weeping, with my mother yelling, “For God’s sake, take the damn Vicodin!”

The second time was this morning, when the oral surgeon had to pack my dry socket.

Since I was still experiencing radiating pain along my jaw, I Googled “wisdom teeth aftercare” and learned that I probably had a dry socket.  I called my oral surgeon’s office, and explained to the nurse my symptoms, she recommended that I come in right away.

Turns out, sometimes, no matter what you try to do to prevent them, dry sockets just happen.  The course of treatment was packing the wound and a round of antibiotics.  I’m just really glad I had no idea that was the treatment before I went in, otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.  (I probably would have thrown up on myself during the procedure, actually.)

God bless the nurse and the assistant learning the procedure – they were both doing their jobs and helping to treat my condition.  But, as she started packing the strip of medicine-soaked paper into my jaw, I started to crawl backwards up and over the chair, and tears sprang to my eyes.  She kept saying, “I’m sorry, I know it hurts, I’m sorry.”  I wiped the tears out of my eyes, and said, “I know: you’re just doing your job, I understand.”  I really, really tried to keep my shit together.

I started hiccupping in the elevator ride down to my car, and had to suck up my sniveling as I ran into someone at the door on my way out.  As soon as I got in the car, I started sobbing big, body-wracking sobs from the pain and the frustration.  I put my head on the steering wheel and cried and cried until I had wept the the eyeliner and mascara off – I was still pretty messed up from all the Vicodin I’d been taking, compounded with the dry socket treatment and  the aching of my jaw since Friday, and because I was tired and frustrated from all the other ridiculous baggage I’m always carrying around.

I finally regained some composure and drove the long ride in to work, fighting a fresh batch of tears the whole way.  While waiting for my prescription to be filled, I carefully re-applied my eye makeup and covered the blotchy red marks on my face.  After a while, I felt better – better than I had felt in days with the packing in my jaw.  I finally felt like laughing and talking, rather than sleeping and doing nothing.  The only downside (other than of course, the horrifying pain of having it packed) is that everything today tastes like I’d licked a hospital: like Betadine and cleanser.

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to go back and have this dressing removed and something else put in.  You might hear again how I cried like a sissy from tomorrow’s procedure, too.

I’m still experiencing some pain and swelling, so I took my boss’s kind gesture and took the day off.  I feel just crappy enough when I’m not on medication that I would be completely distracted at work, and if I’m on drugs, I can’t drive and therefore, can’t be at work.  So, I’m sitting at home watching The X-Files mini-marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel.

I was thinking about how “behind” I am this year on Christmas gifts, and also what “behind” means this year in these economically conservative times.  I went completely overboard last year buying gifts, as it was the first year that I had any money with which to buy gifts.  And really, I haven’t experienced any additional economic stress this season than any other, I just don’t have the energy to look all over Hell’s Half-Acre for the “perfect” gift.  So, I’m really just planning on keeping it to the bare minimum this year.

I feel a little let-down about the season.  Perhaps, given all of the stuff that I’ve been through in the last two weeks, I’m just having a hard time getting into the swing of it.  But I always have these fantasies about how this holiday is going to be the one where I play the Christmas music, make the cookies, send the cards, buy the gifts.  But right now, I just can’t get into it.

I plan on working on the Secret Santa slips for work this afternoon.  Maybe if I take this season one day, on step at a time, I’ll get to the point where I’m feeling engaged with the season.

I woke up this morning swollen and looking like Quagmire.  I don’t hurt like I did yesterday, but I am achy and cranky, and mood-swingy from the painkillers.  I didn’t think it would be weird to not have the teeth, but it is.  I feel the gaps in the back, and my teeth don’t feel as packed in as before.

I just can’t wait to eat normal, solid food again.  Now I know why models are cranky – hunger’ll do that to you.

I got up bright and early this morning, put on my full face of makeup, did my hair, wore my most comfortable pear of jeans and a comforting sweater, had a last cigarette, and headed out to get my wisdom teeth pulled at 8.

I was uncertain of the building, I’ve driven by it hundreds of times en route to Great Lakes mall – it’s a big 70’s monster of a building, so I had little hope of what the offices looked like.  I was pleasantly surprised: the office was furnished like a living room from the early 90’s – a little dated, but very comfortable.  All of the nurses were very friendly, very helpful, very gentle.  And I loved my doctor, the same one who I was worried about having him stick his fingers in my mouth when I had never met him.  He shook my hand, talked me through the procedure and answered all my questions…he even called at 8:00 tonight at my house and asked how I was doing.  If you live in greater Cleveland, shoot me an email, and I’ll give you his name – he was great.

I had weenied out of getting my wisdom teeth pulled for years.  I’d had four of my teeth pulled when I was nine, and I just remember the experience being painful and annoying.  I just wasn’t ready to go through it again.  But I also couldn’t take the possibility of intermittent pain to not have the teeth taken out.  The fact that I’d been through a surgery and recovery earlier this year also played a major role in finally making the decision and to not be nervous.

Honestly, I like being anesthetized – there is nothing that compares to getting that stoned, that fast, and for it to be legal.  The only bummer is that it tends to be an expensive way to get high, and I don’t do drugs otherwise.  But there’s something awesome feeling the whoosh that goes over you before you get knocked out.  I remember the last thing I said before I got knocked out was, “You guys don’t use nitrous anymore?”

Both times I was anesthetized this year, I had some fucked-up dreams – nothing I remember specifically, just that they were weird things to be dreaming about.  Like fever dreams.  I did feel some pain, and I do remember making noises to that effect, but it wasn’t like the last time that I was put under in that not only did I feel the pain as my teeth were being pulled out, I was dreaming that I was standing on my own tongue watching as they pulled them out.  I won’t forget that dream for as long as I live.

I was freezing when I came out of anesthesia, which is typical for me.  The nurse and my mom wrapped a blanket around me and talked about the aftercare, and I slept the whole ride home.  I was lucky that I slept for about two hours with ice on my jaw, so the swelling was minimal.  I spent most of the day sleeping, which was so nice.  Getting the hang of eating sucked, but I think I’ve mastered it and I should be back to French fries and steak in no time.

Irony is that I went to the dentist almost a week ago because I was in miserable pain, and the day after, I felt fine.  My ear stopped hurting, my throat stopped hurting, I didn’t have to self-medicate anymore….  Of course, my life being one minor medical catastrophe after another, my wisdom teeth (the three that are exposed) are in really bad shape, so I have to have them taken out, regardless.

I got one worry wrapped up, just to gear up for another one.  My mother is on strict instructions to take pictures pre- and post-op for the blog.  Everything for the blog.

I am now scheduled to have my wisdom teeth pulled on the 28th of November: the day after Thanksgiving and the day before my father’s 63 birthday.

I have three wisdom teeth that have broken the gum line, and one janky wisdom tooth that is not only completely impacted – sideways – it doesn’t seem to have any roots.  Adding insult to injury, I have three cavities in the good teeth.  When I was given the choice of what to do first, I chose the wisdom teeth – I just can’t take the pain anymore.  I’ve lived with my minor cavities this long, who cares about another two months?

My dentist had to refer me out to an oral surgeon, since I have one impacted tooth and will need to be under anesthesia.  Which is fine, whatever; but at the same time, I’m a little squicky about going to be knocked out by someone I’ve never met before and has never stuck their fingers in my mouth (heh, that’s what she said…).

I’m treating this surgery like my foot surgery: with nonchalance.  I could be terrified and let it ruin my Thanksgiving, but since I’m in constant, grinding pain, I don’t have a choice.  I’m not panicked about anesthesia – been there, don’t that, don’t remember it.  I actually really like getting knocked out: it’s kinda fun.  I’m not worried about the recovery pain: worse comes to worse, I have “leftovers” from my foot surgery that will knock me out.

However, I am going to have to jiggy my schedule to re-schedule my hair appointment with my favorite student at the Aveda salon to get my hair dyed before he graduates and can charge a lot more money for the process.  So many responsibilities….

(Can you tell that studying is going well?)

I mentioned earlier that I was having some tooth pain, and that I was self-medicating through the weekend.  Well, the pain has now grown to affect both my ear and my throat on my left side, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore.  I can’t take the nagging ear ache,  I can’t take the nagging throat pain (though, honestly, the smoking can’t be helping, but one step at a time, people), and I can’t take the idea of rubbing burbon on my gums and drinking five to six glasses of tea as a remedy to quell the throat ache.

I called the dentist today (the same dentist that Lovely Wedded Co-Worker was seeing when she still lived in town), and made an appointment for both a cleaning and to have him take a look at my teeth.  I’ve kind of faced facts that I’m going to have to get the damn wisdom teeth pulled – I certainly can’t walk around for weeks aching only to deal with it again when the next tooth grows in further.  I talked to the dentist’s assistant said that if they couldn’t do anything immediate for me, they would give me something for “pain management” until then.

The kicker of the whole thing is that I am still paying off my foot surgery.  Still.  That surgery was in March, for God’s sakes.  If I get these teeth pulled within the next two weeks, like I figure I will, this will mark Surgery Number Two for 2008.  My father with cancer didn’t even have two surgeries in a year.  I’m just miserable that my plan to be debt-free by the end of 2008 is going down in flames.

The only upside?  More “pain management” drugs that I really have enjoyed for my foot surgery.

I’ve been on the Accutane for a little over a week now.  It’s been an adjustment period.  The side affects are nothing that I haven’t dealt with before, but after two years, re-learning some of the affects have made for an awkward adjustment.

I knew that my skin was going to dry out, but I’d forgotten what a fight it was to stay moisturized throughout the day.  I’d also forgotten about the hair thinning.  I’m not going bald or anything, but running my hands through my hair in the shower I’m pulling angel-hair-pasta-thick strands of hair out.  But the worst is how dry my lips are.  I could deal with everything else without complaint if it weren’t for the fact that I could pull sheets of skin off of my lips. The last time I was on Accutane, it was the one thing I was looking forward to at the end of the six months of treatment.

I know that I made the right decision going back on Accutane.  I know that no matter how many different treatments I tried, the cysts were never going to go away.  But at the same time, in the darkest hour, when my face is raw, red, peeling, and I am paying $40 for the only moisturizer that even comes close to not making my skin feel like I’m being flayed, I wonder why the hell I did this to myself again.  The only comfort is that after this month, my dosage will go down, and hopefully this is the last time I’ll have to do this.

The end goal is the only thing that makes all this bullshit worth going through.