Not a Disclaimer, but an Ownership

When writing a blog, it’s easy to forget that these words are forever. When you set them loose on the Internet, that’s it: they are out there, in cyberspace, interminably.

I sent this blog address to someone, comfortable at first with the things that I’ve written here. Then, as I was reading over some of the older entries, I had doubts about what I had said. Was I really ready to own the things that I have said in the past, knowing that I’m not necessarily the same person that wrote those words before?

The reality is that people change. That some words that have been said in the past aren’t necessarily true anymore. That having put these words out for the whole world to see means that I have to own them for what they are. Some of the words that I have said do not apply to me anymore. And some of those words I wish that I had never said, and some of those words I wish I could take back.

I had taken down all of the posts that I transfered from the old blog to this one. And then, I got called out on it by the person who I’d sent the link to, and the words were, “I am going to read all the articles on your page, but please tell me where I have to look for the [odious] things you [wrote]. Do you believe it will change my mind about you?”

That statement stuck me more than anything else: I worry that some of the things I have written might be deal-breakers regarding some of my friendships.

I have always advertised myself as an open book. I’ve said that there are few things that I regret in this world. But the reality of the situation is that because I am not that person anymore, and I am not necessarily proud of the person that wrote previous words, I still have to admit that I once was that person.

And so, I put the posts back up.

My hope is that the people who know me, and want to know me, will understand that I have grown profoundly in the last two years. And the people who know me now like me, warts and all. I hope that they can still love me, perhaps more so because they know more of the truth about me.

So I must own those posts as part of my past. Though some of the words I’ve said aren’t quite true anymore, some of the other ones are. And if I’m ever asked to verify which ones are still true, I will answer honestly.

I am me: I have been through some traumas in my life, but I have also overcome a lot of them. I’m still a process, as I believe I always will be. But who isn’t in the process of becoming who they are?

But I have learned a lesson: words, once written, have to be owned. I must be careful of the things I say. This does not mean that I will not be honest about what I write, but it does mean that the things I say will be tempered with reason. Only then can I look back on some of the things I have written and not cringe. Sure, some words will be like the mutton-sleeved 80’s prom dress, but at least they won’t be words that I am ashamed to have written.

More Completed 101 Tasks

17. Buy a DSLR camera.

I am the proud owner of this camera. It is the Canon PowerShot S3 IS. I got it while I was on my vacation with The Boy to Dear Friend’s house. I had originally had a Nikon Coolpix, which I got for Christmas, but when I was transferring purses, I thought I had lost it. Dear Friend had just bought a new camera, and hers was the S5 IS. I got to play with it, and absolutely fell in love with it, to the point where I turned to The Boy and said, “I’m not leaving Columbus without a camera.”

Also, The Boy had inherited a Zune from Dear Friends (do you realize now how cool these people are?), and wanted to go to MicroCenter to get a case. So, while he’s looking for a case for his free Zune, I started puttering around the cameras. I did not find the S5, but I did find the S3, which had a nicer price tag on it than I had seen on some shady web sites. So, I’m chatting with the guy at the counter, and he happens to mention that he would clearance out the camera because it’s a discontinued model, and the one that was being used for the demo was the only one left. So, I basically cased the joint; and now I have the camera of my dreams.

It’s not quite a dSLR, but it’s good enough. It does everything I need.

24. Find/create a book club.

I didn’t create a book club, but I did find one. We met once, but we’ve fallen off the wagon. I think I need to call the girls and see when we’re meeting again. I liked doing that.

25. Get re-involved with the Shaker Arts Council.

I am starting back with this again. I’m working the 2008 Summer Solstice festival. If you have the chance to go, you should. I’ll do some more shameless plugs at a later date.

38. Get personal calling cards with my name, cell and email on them.

I went online to VistaPrint, and had them done. They are really, really awesome. Now I just need to go places to give them out.

63. Buy a new pair of glasses.

I finally did this. I went to Wal-Mart (I know, I know: evil corporation, blah, blah, blah) and got an eye exam and new glasses. They are by Levi Strauss, and they’re totally sexy librarian with black rims. Think: Lisa Loeb.

In addition to the tasks that I have completed, I do have changes that I want to make to the list. There are just some things I won’t be able to finish, but I don’t want to cop-out of doing 101 Things. So, I am going to update the list, and post the new changes here, and on the main list.

Overheard in Woodmere

DF told me a fantastic story on one of our Fresh-Air Breaks today.

DF is part of a group of friends who – and I say this with love, I have met some of them and think they’re good people – are a bunch of Dumbasses.  (For the record, DF wasn’t involved in any of the particular incidents I’m about to cite) these are the people who cruise around yard sales and tree lawns looking for elements to build a living room on a friend’s front lawn.  Totally Juno-esque, right?  I can only imagine this guy walking out to pick up his Sunday paper and seeing couches, a TV on a TV stand, and a coffee table so artfully done…on your front lawn.

These are the same group of people who went cruising for construction signs and cones to dump on the guys lawn.  And have gone to the local farmpark to steal sheep to tie up on his front lawn.

On top of the “creative vandalism”, the Dumbasses have also signed people up for information and such from telephone numbers they get from phone poles, public bulletin boards, late-night infomercials, what-have-you.  In one case, they signed a kid up (Duncan) with the local Jehovah’s Witnesses to get him a free bible.  The JH’s asked where he (Duncan) lived, the Dumbasses reply, “Chardon.”  The JH’s, seeing an opportunity, replied, “Well, hey, we’re right around the corner, would you rather that we swing by and do a bible-study with you?”

Jackpot.

The first time the JHs showed up at Duncan’s house, Duncan was not home.  Not to be discouraged, the JH’s were to come back.

Mind you, Duncan has no idea that the Dumbasses signed him up for a Jehovah’s Witness bible-study.  When they came back the second time, Duncan was elbow’s-deep in machinery while he was working on his truck.  And as his grandmother was directing the JHs to where Duncan was working, he sliced his finger to the quick and is swearing a blue sailor as the JH’s approach the truck.  He rolls out from under the truck to three men dressed in black suits and looming over him ominously.

JHs: Are you Duncan?

Duncan: (Mind you, still has no idea that this is a set-up.) Um, yeah?

JHs: Hey, we’re here to help you.

Duncan: (Looking from his gushing thumb, to the JHs, to the truck, and finally back to the JHs.) Dressed like that?

It was shortly after this that both the JHs and Duncan realized that they’d been had.

Photos from My Diaspora

Memorial Day Columbus Trip, 2008